Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Return

I am not sure about everyone else, but God sure finds venerable ways to bring me back from my meandering. Simply put; I am seeking restitution for my fractured faith. I have spent far too long clinging to contested differences of opinion. I have allowed my ignorance to overcome my open faith to the Lord.

Observing the strength of my faith now compared to its rigidity of years past, leaves me morose. I am sad to announce that my faith has become lacking and my morals have become weak. Because of this, the Lord has placed in my path clear signs to deter me from the path I now trudge. I see before me now, an intended path. On this path, I must find the humility in which I lack, while invoking the fortitude to tread steadfastly.

In the past, I have sanctimoniously viewed opposing opinions from mine, as testimony of that person's ignorance and self-actuated egocentrics. All of this, I have done without turning my eyes to a mirror. As I self-reflect now, I see the vileness others must have beheld. This acknowledgement saddens me deeply. I fear that I may have left scars not only on my own soul, but possibly on the hearts of others. Of this, I clutch regret and guilt.

To confirm my conviction of change, ask I for each person who may chance to read this, to remember me in their prayers. I am weak and foolish. To overcome these traits, I ask for your help.

Your brother in Christ,

-Brian

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Redundant Resolutions

In recent weeks, various people from my church have inquired upon my abscence from services. To some, I have been forthright and honest in my answers. Others, however, have no clue in the reason. While still others, could not care less nor have an interest in my absence. Regardless of the possible lack of interest, I will acquaint the true reason for recent omissions.

In the post, The Destructive Power of Dissension, I spoke of the abnormal amount of dissension in my church. In the year that has passed since, the few instances of improvement have been adumbrated by the copius quantity of negativity. Im my opinion, our church's leadership is not leading, instead, it is merely subjecting their opninions on the congregation. Disagreements will occur, but unless all parties involved decide to bend a little, issues will find a breaking point, leaving ill feelings between sanctions. The result is not only harmful to the church, but to the individuals as well.

For years, our church has had the same leadership. This of course, does not include our pastorship. Nevertheless, I must ask this: has our church improved during the last decade? I do not imply that our attendence has not grown since, because it has both risen and receded in that time. Rather, I am asking if the attendees of our church feel better in their relationship with God after they attend a service or while they become involved with the politics of the church? I for one do not, and have not in quite some time.

Let us dwell upon why this is so. If we stand aside and analyze our 'leadership,' what would we honestly have to say? Personally, I believe that they are doing what they think is best. Having said this, I ask: is their best good for the church or themselves and their comrades? The narcissism and arrogance of our 'leaders' make me ill.

I see genuinely good people at our church. The problem is that those good people have no authority. That power belongs to the same people year in and year out. I do not infer that our leadership is merely the members of SPRC, but rather those who are of influence in the church, as well. Names do not need to be mentioned, but who they are, is known.

These people, like most of us, are merely human. The difference lies with the fact that most of us know our limits and when our opinions should be pressed and when they should not. When in power for too long, people will begin to believe that their opinions matter above everyone else's. When this occurs, it is time to either abolish power or have it abolished. If we live above our influence it will be the demise of not only ourselves, but the very institution we were once dedicated to advocate. These people should step back and learn to seek God, rather than pursuing power in His name.

What it comes down to for me is this: I do not want to attend a church where the love of our Creator is diminished by the accession of self-righteousness. I wish to be in a place that inspires me to live by God's laws, rather than resenting His house.

Agree or not, this is how I feel.

-Brian

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Solace in Psalms

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Psalm 63:1

These destitute words of longing sits well with my current circumstances. I read these words with solace. As I open my Bible for the first time in quite a while, I stare down at these words and think, 'Now that's how I feel!" As I keep reading, my eyes scan over Psalm 64:1-2, which reads,

Hear me, O god, as I voice my complaint; protect my life from the threat of the enemy. Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from that noisy crowd of evildoers.

Of course I can use the language so poetically, but the meaning is what I have been trying to express. I continue on with Psalm 64:

They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows. They shoot from ambush at the innocent man; they shoot at him suddenly, without fear.

They encourage each other in evil plans, they talk about hiding their snares; they say, "Who will see them?

They plot injustice and say, "We have devised a perfect plan!" Surely the mind and heart of man are cunning.

But God will shoot them with arrows; suddenly they will be struck down."

He will turn their own tongues against them and bring them to ruin; all who see them will shake their heads with scorn.

Now I have to wonder if I am one of these very same people God will strike down. When a person is passionate about what leads them, it becomes easy to intertwine personal agendas with the original righteous agenda.

As I search the Psalms for answers, my eyes catch a simple word on the adjacent page. That word is, 'rest'. I read the passage and am shown the way through the word. I have been embracing animosity for too long and I needed something to assist in showing me the light. Then while reading scripture about the demise of my enemies, I see something that gives me hope and brings life into perspective. What scripture is it, you ask? It is Psalm 62 and it reads:

My should finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

How long will you assault a man? Would all of you throw him down this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies. With their mouths they bless, but in their hears they curse.

Find rest, O my should, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation, I will not be shaken.

This tells me what I have known all along. People may plot and scheme, but they should have no influence over my faith, because it has nothing to do with them. There is only God who can save me.

Let the bickering continue. For now I will fight for what is right. My faith will heal more with each good passing deed.

May you have a blessed day,

-Brian

Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Destructive Power of Dissension

Months have passed since my last post and I have to admit that I have been a little too disgruntled to write passionately. My temperament is an obstacle which I can rarely maneuver around. You see, several months ago I began finding myself disagreeing with many things in my church. Allow me to clarify. To insinuate that I disagree with the doctrine would be misleading, rather it is the enormous amount of dissension which courses through the congregation. People civilly disagreeing is tolerable, but the frequent bickering and plotting is not what attracts me to this church.

I am allowing people to interfere with my time to worship. I know I should not. I see people in our church doing and saying things that should not be said or done outside of church, much less within the walls of God's house. The intent of revealing this is not for self-gratification, but rather as a means of explanation of the reasoning behind my lack of inspiration. I, like you, am a mere human. I make mistakes more than most. I know my limitations and my faults. My bravado and narcissism are kept in check more often than not.

I am simply tired of putting on my "happy face" at church when I am not happy there. I can honestly say that I do not feel God there. This is saying a lot, considering the lack prose which we enjoy by our pastor. Although the messages we hear weekly are inspiring, the tension in the church over-powers and smothers that inspiration.

The fact that I become tense, simply by walking in and seeing certain people, irritates me. What is more irritating, is the fact that I become irritated. I find it sad to see our church the way it is rather than the way it should be. The lack of Christian ethics there is intolerable. Seeing certain people becoming leaders in our church when they are not biding by God's rules, infuriates me. Seeing people persuading, raising, and encouraging their children to live a homosexual lifestyle is wrong. What is more wrong, is allowing that person to have an influence over other people's children without even pointing out to that person their errors, is simply absurd. People have never had a problem pointing out my faults. I may not have appreciated it at the time, but I do now. I learned from my critiques. Maybe other people need to learn from their own arbitrary critiques.

I know, I know...You are saying, "Good luck with that one," right? That is simply another point of frustration. It is simply impossible to make the "Me" generation see the light. Am I being too pessimistic? Probably, but frustration needs a vent and this is my vent. I have prayed and I have used positive thoughts, but cannot shake this animosity. I don't like what I am becoming. I am happy outside of church and become a pessimist once within the walls.

How do I shake this? Is this normal? I have been thinking of looking for a different church. I may possibly even leave Methodism. The structure of the church allows for too much trouble. I have not felt this far from God in years. What should I do? I haven't touched my Bible in for over a month. Maybe I should pick it up and search for the answers. I may be able to put on a fake smile and pretend to be righteous, but He who matters, knows better. I want the passion in my faith again.

If you have some advice, please share. Inspire me.

-Brian

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Sermon Ideas

This Sunday I will be the substitute pastor for two local churches. Because of the short notice, I am scrambling to find a fitting topic. If you have any ideas for topics or any helpful information, please post.

Thank you,

Brian

Monday, March 24, 2008

What You Believe

Because I control the conversations and ideas of this meager little blog, but am wanting other people's input, I am starting this topic in hopes that whomever may read this may state their views on any subject regarding their faith.

It has come clear that either those who read this either completely agree with me, or simply do not want to openly discuss what is on their mind. This blog is a learning tool. Please feel free to express your faith here. I would love to discuss our similarities and/or disagreements in views.

The pompous like me always freely give our opinion. With the emplacement of ideas and thoughts of others, I may in fact bring life to this withering blog.

-Brian

Christian Documentaries

This past weekend, I tried to find some time to unwind and find a semi-vegetative state of mind. Consequently I turned on the television and began channel surfing like a pro. While doing so, I stopped on a series on the Discovery Channel about the life of Jesus. I assumed the content would offer a bit of leisure time. Instead, I was disappointed.

Let me begin by saying that I understand the unfortunate truth that not every person in this world believes in Christ...or any religious entity, but when we Christians, who by the way are still in the majority, are in the midst of one of our most cherished times of the Christian faith, it would be nice to watch documentaries which actually reflect our views. This particular program explained the Christian belief in the death and resurrection of our savior, but went further and explained why some people believe it not to be true.

I would like to unbiased documentaries produced by historians who believe. I guess what I am discouraged with is the fact that they can't even produce on brief documentary without blaspheming or trying to disprove our faith. The explanations they give are absurd with no proof. If the producers do not believe what we believe, then they should find another topic rather than defacing what we hold dear.

Am I the only one who gets irritated with this? Maybe so.

-Brian

Monday, March 17, 2008

My Life as of Late

Wow, it really doesn't seem like two months have passed since I've last written in this blog. For those of you who are curious, I will explain my absence.

Near the middle of January, I was unfortunate enough to have a viral infection. Nothing serious, but it did put me down for a week or so. Shortly after, the medical supply firm I work for began making drastic changes...luckily, the were positive changes for myself. For the last month, we have been preparing, moving, and opening a new office. This is where most of my time has been spent.

Now, with the girls in dance and soccer, and my busy work schedule, I have found no time to write or even prepare many ideas for this blog.

Thursday, I will be portraying St. Peter in our church's production of "The Living Last Supper," inspired by Leonardo's fresco. I merely have a seven minute monologue then spend the remaining to the production in an awkward pose, while counting the seconds before I can relax.

I'm hoping to Begin finding more time to write after this week. In fact, I am determined to find time this week to write. Until then, I hope you and yours has a blessed week.

-Brian

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Out of Pocket

Sorry for the lack of new blogs recently. I have spent the last week or so feeling under the weather. I have several topics I am wanting to write about and will begin sometime this weekend.

I hope all is well.

-Brian

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Day of the Lord

"Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire, says the Lord Almighty. "Not a root or branch will be left to them. But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall. Then you will trample down the wicked; they will be ashes under the loses of your feet on the day when I do these things," says the Lord Almighty.
-Malachi 4:1-3

He said it, I believe it...do you? Will you be an evildoer who will pay the consequences for not repenting? Fix what is broken in your life. Live like you never knew you could. Live for your maker and live forever.

"You have wearied the Lord with your words...by saying, "All who do evil are good in the eyes of the Lord..."

"But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap."

"I, the Lord do not change." Malachi 2-3

I am afraid to go into what God says about tithing in the book of Malachi. Robbing God is not a pleasant thought.

To me, there are no books in the bible which speaks more bleakly than Malachi, Jude, and parts of Timothy. If reading these does not put a fire under your pants, then I am afraid to see what will.

-Brian

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Intentional Zealot

If you watch the evening news, no matter on which station, you will often hear a newscaster speak of "those evangelicals." They say it as if it is something horrific or at the very least absurd. Now that we are in the midst of an election year, the phrase tends to be repeated even more so. Allow me to ask this of you: When you hear the phrase, 'the evangelical Christians,' do you believed it is being used in a negative connotation? I believe that it is.

Speaking for myself, I am offended everytime I hear it used in negative a manner. I am a Christian. I am not perfect, but I do my best to be Christ-like. I would love to be labled a zealot, but am afraid I do not possess the zeal to be labeled as such.

In Titus 2:13-14 it is written, "...our Great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people who are his very own, who are zealous for what is good." There is no greater good than our Lord. We should be zealous in spreading the Good News.

Maybe we should devote more attention on becoming intentional zealots. In order to live up to the priviledge to call ourselves Christians, we should disseminate our Holy gifts to evangelize. The time for practicing soft Christianity needs to come to an end. The rewards will most definately out weigh the costs.

May God grace you and protect you,

-Brian

Monday, January 14, 2008

Better in than Out

Jesus said in Mark 7:15-23:

"Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.'"

"Don't you see that nothing that that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? For it does not go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body."

"What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' From from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "

Is this message simply instructions of dietary habits of Jews of the time or was it meant metaphorically? Does this mean I can eat all the pizza I want, because all I really need to worry about is what lies within my heart?

Maybe, but I believe this parable may have had its literal meaning, but also includes a metaphorical meaning. In my reasoning, I take it to be a sign of our times. Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with immoral messages. In some cases of political correctness, we are coerced into believing immoral behaviors are appropriate. I believe Jesus was warning us about just these things. I believe he was telling us that no matter what is crammed down our throats, we should allow it to pass through us while keeping little from the experience.

We have a guidebook to lead us through our life. We cannot and should not allow immoral entities to persuade us otherwise.

What do you think?

-Brian