Valediction of Vows

Have you noticed that it is almost becoming the norm of our society to go through marriages as you often as you buy a car? The issue is quite frightening when considering the maleffects it places on our children. As you are aware, we are living in the midst of the "Me" generation. The disturbing effects of today's casual parenting styles are simply allowing the trends to become more dreary.

If you ask me, I believe we can lay blame on several fronts. The baby-boomers were raised in an era which was very anti-violence...or so they liked to tell themselves so. We can also look to the infamous Dr. Spock, who preached that children should not be spanked, instead reasoned with. As the decades have past and the generations have worsened, Dr. Spock on his death bed admitted he was wrong. If that is not a kick in the pants, I don't know what is. Spend decades telling our nation how to parent, then after your philosophy has caused irreversible social damage, then simply apologize and die. But when it comes down to brass tacks, we have no one to blame but ourselves. Too many people began parenting by the wrong book. Now we are stuck with the result.

Children are having children. We live in a society where anything goes as long as it makes you feel good. Consequences means little until it is too late to make corrections. Marriages without love occurs and near inevitable divorce follows. But why divorce? The answer is simple to say but difficult to hear...the lack of love for our Maker.

See, when we cannot find love for Him who has created us, it is impossible to love anyone else. Without God, there is not love. Greed, narcissism, lack of self-control replaces the void where love should have been.

Oh sure, there are people who will not agree with me nor like what I am writing. But do not fool yourself. A marriage without God is a marriage doomed to end or doomed to be unhappy. We are unable to do God's will as explained in Leviticus 19:18, "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge...but love your neighbor as yourself." Who can love their neighbor as we do ourselves? None of us, but when we do not put forth the effort to attempt forgiveness and love others, we cannot expect to live a meaningful life.

When we allow sefishness and pride to rule our every emotion and decisions, we cannot see clearly enough to forgive, much less love. If not controlled, your spouse may not be the only one hurt. If there are children in a broken marriage, more control and consideration must given. Slanderous words about a spouse or ex-spouse in front of children will lead to excessive anger, frequent outbursts, depression, and reclussiveness. In the longrun, children will pay the ultimate price. Instead of learning to be happy from their parents, they learn hostility, anger, and resentment. In doing so, you are clearly disobeying the Word. It is stated in Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers do not exasperate (stir up anger in) your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

I have to question the faith of those who behave in such a way. If they are Christians, why do they behave in such this way? Surely if they were devout, they would not even consider behaving so. Fathers should always be an example of the type of husband their daughters should seek, and wives should be an example of the type of wife their sons should seek. They should guide there children together. Children need both, a father and a mother, no matter what you hear on Oprah.

With the knowledge that we are separated from God due to our sinful nature, I am aware that none of us are perfect. Some however, may be closer to God's grace than others. If you are one of these people, I pray that you become the fisher of men as you should. Let us make a conscious effort to better our children and bring them and their parents to Jesus Christ.

-Brian