Solace in Psalms

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Psalm 63:1

These destitute words of longing sits well with my current circumstances. I read these words with solace. As I open my Bible for the first time in quite a while, I stare down at these words and think, 'Now that's how I feel!" As I keep reading, my eyes scan over Psalm 64:1-2, which reads,

Hear me, O god, as I voice my complaint; protect my life from the threat of the enemy. Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from that noisy crowd of evildoers.

Of course I can use the language so poetically, but the meaning is what I have been trying to express. I continue on with Psalm 64:

They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows. They shoot from ambush at the innocent man; they shoot at him suddenly, without fear.

They encourage each other in evil plans, they talk about hiding their snares; they say, "Who will see them?

They plot injustice and say, "We have devised a perfect plan!" Surely the mind and heart of man are cunning.

But God will shoot them with arrows; suddenly they will be struck down."

He will turn their own tongues against them and bring them to ruin; all who see them will shake their heads with scorn.

Now I have to wonder if I am one of these very same people God will strike down. When a person is passionate about what leads them, it becomes easy to intertwine personal agendas with the original righteous agenda.

As I search the Psalms for answers, my eyes catch a simple word on the adjacent page. That word is, 'rest'. I read the passage and am shown the way through the word. I have been embracing animosity for too long and I needed something to assist in showing me the light. Then while reading scripture about the demise of my enemies, I see something that gives me hope and brings life into perspective. What scripture is it, you ask? It is Psalm 62 and it reads:

My should finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

How long will you assault a man? Would all of you throw him down this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies. With their mouths they bless, but in their hears they curse.

Find rest, O my should, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation, I will not be shaken.

This tells me what I have known all along. People may plot and scheme, but they should have no influence over my faith, because it has nothing to do with them. There is only God who can save me.

Let the bickering continue. For now I will fight for what is right. My faith will heal more with each good passing deed.

May you have a blessed day,

-Brian

The Destructive Power of Dissension

Months have passed since my last post and I have to admit that I have been a little too disgruntled to write passionately. My temperament is an obstacle which I can rarely maneuver around. You see, several months ago I began finding myself disagreeing with many things in my church. Allow me to clarify. To insinuate that I disagree with the doctrine would be misleading, rather it is the enormous amount of dissension which courses through the congregation. People civilly disagreeing is tolerable, but the frequent bickering and plotting is not what attracts me to this church.

I am allowing people to interfere with my time to worship. I know I should not. I see people in our church doing and saying things that should not be said or done outside of church, much less within the walls of God's house. The intent of revealing this is not for self-gratification, but rather as a means of explanation of the reasoning behind my lack of inspiration. I, like you, am a mere human. I make mistakes more than most. I know my limitations and my faults. My bravado and narcissism are kept in check more often than not.

I am simply tired of putting on my "happy face" at church when I am not happy there. I can honestly say that I do not feel God there. This is saying a lot, considering the lack prose which we enjoy by our pastor. Although the messages we hear weekly are inspiring, the tension in the church over-powers and smothers that inspiration.

The fact that I become tense, simply by walking in and seeing certain people, irritates me. What is more irritating, is the fact that I become irritated. I find it sad to see our church the way it is rather than the way it should be. The lack of Christian ethics there is intolerable. Seeing certain people becoming leaders in our church when they are not biding by God's rules, infuriates me. Seeing people persuading, raising, and encouraging their children to live a homosexual lifestyle is wrong. What is more wrong, is allowing that person to have an influence over other people's children without even pointing out to that person their errors, is simply absurd. People have never had a problem pointing out my faults. I may not have appreciated it at the time, but I do now. I learned from my critiques. Maybe other people need to learn from their own arbitrary critiques.

I know, I know...You are saying, "Good luck with that one," right? That is simply another point of frustration. It is simply impossible to make the "Me" generation see the light. Am I being too pessimistic? Probably, but frustration needs a vent and this is my vent. I have prayed and I have used positive thoughts, but cannot shake this animosity. I don't like what I am becoming. I am happy outside of church and become a pessimist once within the walls.

How do I shake this? Is this normal? I have been thinking of looking for a different church. I may possibly even leave Methodism. The structure of the church allows for too much trouble. I have not felt this far from God in years. What should I do? I haven't touched my Bible in for over a month. Maybe I should pick it up and search for the answers. I may be able to put on a fake smile and pretend to be righteous, but He who matters, knows better. I want the passion in my faith again.

If you have some advice, please share. Inspire me.

-Brian

Sermon Ideas

This Sunday I will be the substitute pastor for two local churches. Because of the short notice, I am scrambling to find a fitting topic. If you have any ideas for topics or any helpful information, please post.

Thank you,

Brian

What You Believe

Because I control the conversations and ideas of this meager little blog, but am wanting other people's input, I am starting this topic in hopes that whomever may read this may state their views on any subject regarding their faith.

It has come clear that either those who read this either completely agree with me, or simply do not want to openly discuss what is on their mind. This blog is a learning tool. Please feel free to express your faith here. I would love to discuss our similarities and/or disagreements in views.

The pompous like me always freely give our opinion. With the emplacement of ideas and thoughts of others, I may in fact bring life to this withering blog.

-Brian

Christian Documentaries

This past weekend, I tried to find some time to unwind and find a semi-vegetative state of mind. Consequently I turned on the television and began channel surfing like a pro. While doing so, I stopped on a series on the Discovery Channel about the life of Jesus. I assumed the content would offer a bit of leisure time. Instead, I was disappointed.

Let me begin by saying that I understand the unfortunate truth that not every person in this world believes in Christ...or any religious entity, but when we Christians, who by the way are still in the majority, are in the midst of one of our most cherished times of the Christian faith, it would be nice to watch documentaries which actually reflect our views. This particular program explained the Christian belief in the death and resurrection of our savior, but went further and explained why some people believe it not to be true.

I would like to unbiased documentaries produced by historians who believe. I guess what I am discouraged with is the fact that they can't even produce on brief documentary without blaspheming or trying to disprove our faith. The explanations they give are absurd with no proof. If the producers do not believe what we believe, then they should find another topic rather than defacing what we hold dear.

Am I the only one who gets irritated with this? Maybe so.

-Brian

My Life as of Late

Wow, it really doesn't seem like two months have passed since I've last written in this blog. For those of you who are curious, I will explain my absence.

Near the middle of January, I was unfortunate enough to have a viral infection. Nothing serious, but it did put me down for a week or so. Shortly after, the medical supply firm I work for began making drastic changes...luckily, the were positive changes for myself. For the last month, we have been preparing, moving, and opening a new office. This is where most of my time has been spent.

Now, with the girls in dance and soccer, and my busy work schedule, I have found no time to write or even prepare many ideas for this blog.

Thursday, I will be portraying St. Peter in our church's production of "The Living Last Supper," inspired by Leonardo's fresco. I merely have a seven minute monologue then spend the remaining to the production in an awkward pose, while counting the seconds before I can relax.

I'm hoping to Begin finding more time to write after this week. In fact, I am determined to find time this week to write. Until then, I hope you and yours has a blessed week.

-Brian

Out of Pocket

Sorry for the lack of new blogs recently. I have spent the last week or so feeling under the weather. I have several topics I am wanting to write about and will begin sometime this weekend.

I hope all is well.

-Brian

The Day of the Lord

"Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire, says the Lord Almighty. "Not a root or branch will be left to them. But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall. Then you will trample down the wicked; they will be ashes under the loses of your feet on the day when I do these things," says the Lord Almighty.
-Malachi 4:1-3

He said it, I believe it...do you? Will you be an evildoer who will pay the consequences for not repenting? Fix what is broken in your life. Live like you never knew you could. Live for your maker and live forever.

"You have wearied the Lord with your words...by saying, "All who do evil are good in the eyes of the Lord..."

"But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap."

"I, the Lord do not change." Malachi 2-3

I am afraid to go into what God says about tithing in the book of Malachi. Robbing God is not a pleasant thought.

To me, there are no books in the bible which speaks more bleakly than Malachi, Jude, and parts of Timothy. If reading these does not put a fire under your pants, then I am afraid to see what will.

-Brian

The Intentional Zealot

If you watch the evening news, no matter on which station, you will often hear a newscaster speak of "those evangelicals." They say it as if it is something horrific or at the very least absurd. Now that we are in the midst of an election year, the phrase tends to be repeated even more so. Allow me to ask this of you: When you hear the phrase, 'the evangelical Christians,' do you believed it is being used in a negative connotation? I believe that it is.

Speaking for myself, I am offended everytime I hear it used in negative a manner. I am a Christian. I am not perfect, but I do my best to be Christ-like. I would love to be labled a zealot, but am afraid I do not possess the zeal to be labeled as such.

In Titus 2:13-14 it is written, "...our Great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people who are his very own, who are zealous for what is good." There is no greater good than our Lord. We should be zealous in spreading the Good News.

Maybe we should devote more attention on becoming intentional zealots. In order to live up to the priviledge to call ourselves Christians, we should disseminate our Holy gifts to evangelize. The time for practicing soft Christianity needs to come to an end. The rewards will most definately out weigh the costs.

May God grace you and protect you,

-Brian

Better in than Out

Jesus said in Mark 7:15-23:

"Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.'"

"Don't you see that nothing that that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? For it does not go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body."

"What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' From from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "

Is this message simply instructions of dietary habits of Jews of the time or was it meant metaphorically? Does this mean I can eat all the pizza I want, because all I really need to worry about is what lies within my heart?

Maybe, but I believe this parable may have had its literal meaning, but also includes a metaphorical meaning. In my reasoning, I take it to be a sign of our times. Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with immoral messages. In some cases of political correctness, we are coerced into believing immoral behaviors are appropriate. I believe Jesus was warning us about just these things. I believe he was telling us that no matter what is crammed down our throats, we should allow it to pass through us while keeping little from the experience.

We have a guidebook to lead us through our life. We cannot and should not allow immoral entities to persuade us otherwise.

What do you think?

-Brian

Valediction of Vows

Have you noticed that it is almost becoming the norm of our society to go through marriages as you often as you buy a car? The issue is quite frightening when considering the maleffects it places on our children. As you are aware, we are living in the midst of the "Me" generation. The disturbing effects of today's casual parenting styles are simply allowing the trends to become more dreary.

If you ask me, I believe we can lay blame on several fronts. The baby-boomers were raised in an era which was very anti-violence...or so they liked to tell themselves so. We can also look to the infamous Dr. Spock, who preached that children should not be spanked, instead reasoned with. As the decades have past and the generations have worsened, Dr. Spock on his death bed admitted he was wrong. If that is not a kick in the pants, I don't know what is. Spend decades telling our nation how to parent, then after your philosophy has caused irreversible social damage, then simply apologize and die. But when it comes down to brass tacks, we have no one to blame but ourselves. Too many people began parenting by the wrong book. Now we are stuck with the result.

Children are having children. We live in a society where anything goes as long as it makes you feel good. Consequences means little until it is too late to make corrections. Marriages without love occurs and near inevitable divorce follows. But why divorce? The answer is simple to say but difficult to hear...the lack of love for our Maker.

See, when we cannot find love for Him who has created us, it is impossible to love anyone else. Without God, there is not love. Greed, narcissism, lack of self-control replaces the void where love should have been.

Oh sure, there are people who will not agree with me nor like what I am writing. But do not fool yourself. A marriage without God is a marriage doomed to end or doomed to be unhappy. We are unable to do God's will as explained in Leviticus 19:18, "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge...but love your neighbor as yourself." Who can love their neighbor as we do ourselves? None of us, but when we do not put forth the effort to attempt forgiveness and love others, we cannot expect to live a meaningful life.

When we allow sefishness and pride to rule our every emotion and decisions, we cannot see clearly enough to forgive, much less love. If not controlled, your spouse may not be the only one hurt. If there are children in a broken marriage, more control and consideration must given. Slanderous words about a spouse or ex-spouse in front of children will lead to excessive anger, frequent outbursts, depression, and reclussiveness. In the longrun, children will pay the ultimate price. Instead of learning to be happy from their parents, they learn hostility, anger, and resentment. In doing so, you are clearly disobeying the Word. It is stated in Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers do not exasperate (stir up anger in) your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

I have to question the faith of those who behave in such a way. If they are Christians, why do they behave in such this way? Surely if they were devout, they would not even consider behaving so. Fathers should always be an example of the type of husband their daughters should seek, and wives should be an example of the type of wife their sons should seek. They should guide there children together. Children need both, a father and a mother, no matter what you hear on Oprah.

With the knowledge that we are separated from God due to our sinful nature, I am aware that none of us are perfect. Some however, may be closer to God's grace than others. If you are one of these people, I pray that you become the fisher of men as you should. Let us make a conscious effort to better our children and bring them and their parents to Jesus Christ.

-Brian

The Content of Christian Character

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
-Martin Luther King, Jr. August 18, 1963

For those who know me, I have my bachelor's degree in history, and Martin Luther King, Jr. is one of the most impressive historical figures to study and admire. This little excerpt from King's, "I have a dream," speech, addresses a trait I want to ponder. The trait I am interested in is character.

Character is defined as a description of a person's attributes, traits, or abilities. So, when determining one's character, in all probability we would, or at least should, search for positive attributes. Because this blog views the world in a Biblical, or more particularly, a specific Christian viewpoint, I will put Dr. King's dream under Christian scrutiny.

Romans 5:3-5 says that, "...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance produces proven character and proven character produces hope." These versus tell us that as we continue to have faith and hope in God, He will use that perseverance in seeking Him to help build our character as Christians.

Now I wonder how many of us continue to persevere to find His favor. In reference to Dr. King, I find that most people in today's society find it easier to judge people not by the color of their skin. But it is apparent that the difficulty lies within the judging of people by the content of their character, fore the lack of Christian character lies deeply rooted into the souls of most. Finding someone who possesses Christian values can be difficult, much less finding someone who has a great deal of Christian character.

There are many who believe that God does indeed exist, but there are few who live for Him.

"I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live." -MLK. Have you discovered Someone you would die for? If not, you may not be fit for eternal life.

-Brian

Inspiration Through Faith

"When I was abandoned by everybody, in my greatest weakness, trembling and afraid of death, when I was persecuted by this wicked world, then I often felt most surely the divine power in the name, Jesus Christ...So, by God's grace, I will live and die for that name."
-Martin Luther

When times come and I find myself in doubt and my faith has been questioned, I persevere in finding the resolve to seek inspiration from those whose faith I admire. Martin Luther, in this quote, summarized my feelings. When troubled times seek to depress me, I find comfort in my Savior. "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He Cares for those who trust in Him" -Nahum 1:7.

I have been questioning the virulent nature of sins I have committed. The time has come for me to set aside the reasoning of sin and to concentrate on the forgiveness of them. So then, to begin finding resolution to this personal crises, I turn to Romans 6:1-4, which reads, "What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."

Paul discusses further in chapters seven our struggle with sin. In chapter 8:38, he explains the salvation of believers when he writes, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers...in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." When we give our selves to Christ, there is nothing that can come between us. The love our Father has is eternal.

What next? With a firm foundation I go. It is time to wash the feet of others (John 13:12-17).

Keep with Christ in all you do.

-Brian

Possibly Apostasy

This weekend I joined fellow church leaders to a retreat to discuss various aspects of our church. I shared a room with our music director (who is fast becoming a dear friend). In one of our many discussions, he enlightened me with a copy of Beware the Pretenders, by John MacArthur, Jr. The book, which is a mere ninety-six pages, opened my eyes to a side of myself which is bringing concern like none I have had in years.

I am fully aware that I am often on a soap-box and think I truly know the truth of life. I become content in my faith and readily point to the flaws in behavior and the faith of others. As I do when working on behavioral and mental flaws, I train myself to correct them. After reading this tiny book with such a big message, I see myself in a different light. I am finding myself questioning my faith and reasoning. Self-evaluation often allows me to see the light, but I am truly wondering whether or not I am the devout man I have tried to become.

Am I one of the many of whom Jude has written? I am almost afraid to look so deep into myself to answer this question. I am putting forth effort to live the life I should. I adversely overcome obstacles in my life and faith, but continue to sin. Oftentimes repeating the same sins on such a regular basis that I am not even aware that I am committing them. By the shear repetition of sins do I deny my faith in the Lord?

After reading the book of Jude, my mind drifted to 2 Timothy 3:1-4, which says:

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God."

What could be more frightening than this statement? This describes me, no matter how much I deny it. I am often vain, which is loving myself. I strive and work for more money and do not tithe as I should. A full ten percent is demanded and I do not give ten percent. I often boast of various aspects of my life. I too often am proud of what I have accomplished, no matter how inconsequential. I am abusive at times in my language, and by neglect, I am abusive to my faith. I have a life full of disobedience to my parents. I take too many things in my life for granted, which shows how ungrateful I am. By being all of these things, I am being unholy. I love my family and friends, but struggle with loving my enemies. I do not forgive as easily as I should. Slanderous words come from both my mouth and pen. I am too hasty and rash on many decisions. Conceitedness goes along with my vanity. I love selfish pleasure, which includes constant entertainment. This includes watching violent movies instead of devoting that time to Christ.

With all of these faults, can I be the Christian I claim? Will I see the gates of heaven? I do not devote my life to Christ in the manner which is demanded. I often behave in ways I should not and always look to see what I am getting in return. These are not behaviors of a Christian, are they?

By acknowledging this abundance of misgivings, how do I change them? Can I change them? I try to be all I should, but fail miserably. Will I be shown mercy simply because I have put for a minuscule amount of effort? I hope so.

I am concerned that, unlike Lot, I will not survive my Sodom and Gomorrah. I ask, how many will? I do not believe I am an apostate, but I am a sinner who struggles blatantly with evil and loses. I may not be much better than an apostate.

May God's graces bless you,

Brian